Compaq Presario: You were my best friend.

I recently rescued my old computer from my parents' basement, the computer that saw me all through college. My Compaq Presario sported a pentium processor, a whopping 1.5 gig hard drive, and Windows 95. It's been sitting under old newspapers for at least 5 years, but I plugged it in and fired it up, and it still had the correct date and time. That's a 12-year-old battery!

So nostalgia is in full effect. I could write a blogload of posts about how funny things like "email" and "internet" were in 1997. I went through a bunch of the emails saved in my Eudora program and basically walked through my freshman year of college. I kept recommending to my friends that they try out this Instant Message thing, or "Have you heard of mp3s? They, like, turn your computer into a jukebox!"

In one email, I told my friend about the coolest game: Duke Nukem. Dude, that was fun. That was my first experience with a first-person shooter AND you could play your friends over a network (and as I recall, you could type messages to eachother).

We have come so far in 12 years.

Portal Re-entered

A Portal-themed evite recently inspired me to go back for a brief fling with what I thought might have been the best game of 2007. I can't readily think of any other game that so skillfully conveys both real creepiness and genuinely entertaining humor in basically the same breath. Combine that with mind-bending spacial puzzles and science and you've got an obvious, hands-down winner. End the game with a song sung by the game's antagonist and you've got a lot of delicious gravy. Or icing, I guess, in this case.

No one will ever be able to end a game that way again without people remembering Portal. The designers have earned their immortality.

There's also a fan-made Flash version of the game here that's only 2D but is still a great puzzler and time-waster. If you don't know a thing about Portal you should at least take a look at this, but it would be best if you just picked up the real thing for the 360 or PC. If you can't do either of those things, come over and play it. I'll provide food and drinks. It's important.

And yes, I'm bucking the trend of doing a "Best of 2008" revue and talking about my favorite game of 2007. Eat it.

That Creep Can Roll

Nobody fucks with the Jesus. 

The tongue is a nice touch. So is the choking hazard, according to the website, for those hard core Lebowski fans who would apparently buy this for their infant children.

Killer Spots: Fable 2

One of the cooler spots I ran across last year... Mass Market's creepy take on Fable 2 called "Destiny".

I love the simplicity of it. And even though I've never played the game, I get the impression that it's a pretty intense experience (which I'm guessing is the desired effect).

This one scored points for taking MASH to a whole new level. Remember MASH? Mansion Apartment Shack House? There was a great South Park episode where the guys thought the girls had a machine that could tell the future because they were playing MASH at recess... but I digress. Enjoy the spot (courtesy of Motionographer).

Wow, Memories.

I basically became a gamer in second grade. Our family was the first in our neighborhood to purchase a "personal computer" back in 1982 or so.


I'm happy to say that when I look at this image I still get a hint of the mystical wonder I felt as a kid playing with that big, cold box of magic. I'm not sure I've had another birthday or Christmas since where I didn't ask for at least one video or computer game. In 1985 I played ten minutes of the game Aztec at a computer store and my desire to own it consumed me until I finally found it under the tree that year.

"How good could it have been, really?" you ask.

I can show you.



I spent months playing this game. It was extremely flawed -- movement was cumbersome and confusing; the maze was full of game-breaking glitches and bugs, often making the game unwinnable -- but I loved it. At the time it was the closest one could get to actually being Indiana Jones, and to get to do that at nine years old is just extraordinarily cool.

Behold: Virtual NES

Bored at work? Looking for something new? Tired of clichés?

Check out the glorious ray of sunshine that is the Virtual NES website. Painlessly pass the hours of a soul-crushing day with a few rounds of Contra. Relive the good parts of your childhood with a little Tecmo Bowl. Or laugh out loud at really random shit like Family Fued. All you need is a computer and some free time. And if you're here, you've clearly got both.

My brother-in-law turned me on to this place about a year ago. And he works in HR, so it must be cool to visit at work.

Check it out. You'll be glad that you did.

Gay Mario and Other Old School Favorites

In case you missed it the first time around, click here to check out some fantastic "authentic games" that were "found" at a "garage sale". 

Too many favorites to choose from... thanks to our friend Molly for forwarding a while back.