(University Blvd, Wheaton MD)
Aliens vs Predator: Everybody Loses
It isn't that I had high hopes for Alien vs Predator - Reqiuem going in... I saw that the movie was coming on in HD and I grabbled it on my DVR for whenever... no biggie. So I wasn't surprised that I was disappointed... but I was surprised at why I was disappointed.
Turns out the directors pretty much abandoned any higher aspirations and made a slasher flick, straight up. And I'm not a big fan of slasher flicks. There was no rhyme or reason to who was going to die or when, and no suspense in the build up to those deaths at all. The asshole jock who probably has it coming? Just as expendable as the nice girl at the pizza shop who had a bad day. Characters we kinda wanna care about? Unimportant when the ultimate goal is a body count. No lessons learned, and no reason or redemption. Yippe!
The first two movies weren't exactly milk-fed, but at least they were classy. Even at their most unsettling, they were never gratuitous. Unrelenting, maybe, but I think they knew where the line was... they showed you just enough awful to get the point across and then let that linger in your mind while the folks on screen tried to stay alive (and boy did it linger...).
But not this time! A precocious little kid on a hunting trip with dad comes across a crashed ship in the woods that's crawling with facehuggers. This ain't my first rodeo... I know bad stuff's gonna happen. But is it really necessary to see the little guy's chest ripped open? Wasn't that sort of implied when it happened to dad just a few seconds earlier? Or what about the hospital at the center of town? You know, the one without an empty bed in the maternity ward? Do we need to see a room full of expectant moms strung up and screaming while babies that clearly aren't theirs burst from their bellies? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that we don't. I'm pretty sure Ridley Scott and James Cameron would have passed that exit and kept on driving.
If you're a gaming fan, it stands to reason that you might be an Alien fan as well (see also: Brian's cat names). So let me save you the trouble on this one: don't bother. It's not fun, it's not funny and it's definitely not worth your time. They might as well have called it Freddy vs Jason and set the bar where it belongs.
(Extra credit: Check out the pic of the directors on IMDB - straight out of central casting. And yes, they released it on Christmas. Nice touch.)
Killer Spots: Mercenaries 2
Sure, it's not going to win your head or your heart like the Gears of War campaigns, but I'm still a big fan of the launch spot for Mercenaries 2.
Why? First off, because I love the money motif that the guys at Shilo Design cooked in to everything. Reminds me of Shepard Fairey's newer stuff (see cover art for "E Pluribus Venom" in particular), and I think it looks gorgeous. Being that money and revenge are the two big drivers of the game, I love that they were able to combine them both in to something so simple.
Second, it's just plain fun. Cartoon-like violence, a jumpy little song with white kids singing gangsta rap lyrics... it strikes all the right chords that make me want to log on and destroy stuff with a friend. In fact, I think it captures the tone of the game pretty well... I was quite happy to fire up the multiplayer with Brian and learn that it doesn't take itself too seriously at all.
Aside from the really jarring product tag at the end, I dig this one a lot. You can even download the song from iTunes if you like, but the best parts are already included in the spot for my money. There's a director's cut on the Shilo site that uses alt music, but it doesn't grab me as much as the one they did for broadcast (and that's coming from a fan of the whole Brit-pop sound as well).
The First Day of Dudemas : The Douchebag Supervisor
Some time ago, there was a total dick of a team supervisor that was going to travel to HQ and be interviewed to be made a director. Before he left he gathered up the contractors on his team and divided his work among them to manage while he was gone.
His regular full-time staff wrote a letter that they faxed ahead of their boss. The letter said they hated him and asked HQ not to make him a director. Nonetheless, he was promoted.
When he returned he asked each of the contractors what they accomplished while he was gone. This one guy did a whole crapload of work, and the director gave him a big bonus. This other guy did a decent amount of work and received a fair bonus. But then there was this third guy that didn't do squat.
"I didn't do any of your work because you're a douchebag," the third guy said.
"What? That was stupid. You're fired, and this first guy gets your last paycheck," shouted the director.
The other contractors objected. "He already has the biggest bonus!"
"That's the way it works," said the director. "Now gather up the employees that wrote that letter about me and kill them."
The contractor in the break room looked doubtful. "Seriously? He tried to have his staff killed? What happened next?"
Dude shrugged. "I dunno. My burrito is done, microwave's yours. Have a good one."
His regular full-time staff wrote a letter that they faxed ahead of their boss. The letter said they hated him and asked HQ not to make him a director. Nonetheless, he was promoted.
When he returned he asked each of the contractors what they accomplished while he was gone. This one guy did a whole crapload of work, and the director gave him a big bonus. This other guy did a decent amount of work and received a fair bonus. But then there was this third guy that didn't do squat.
"I didn't do any of your work because you're a douchebag," the third guy said.
"What? That was stupid. You're fired, and this first guy gets your last paycheck," shouted the director.
The other contractors objected. "He already has the biggest bonus!"
"That's the way it works," said the director. "Now gather up the employees that wrote that letter about me and kill them."
The contractor in the break room looked doubtful. "Seriously? He tried to have his staff killed? What happened next?"
Dude shrugged. "I dunno. My burrito is done, microwave's yours. Have a good one."
NCCAF Date Confirmed
Superbest will be playing the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival on Friday February 20th at 7:30pm.
We'll be at the DSI Comedy Theater along with WIT's onesixtyone later that same night (...and making our way over to Tyler's Tap Room shortly after that). Tickets should be available on the festival website soon... see you there and then!
Have an Inappropriate Christmas
I like to imagine a conversation with the dude who animated this...
"So what are you working on these days, son?"
"Well, mom..."
I <3 Adorable and Terrifying Things
He trots down the hall of our building with confidence on these walks, occasionally looking up at me to mew a brief word of encouragement as we pass other units. We almost never see anyone else during these walks, though we occasionally encounter a little dog named Cleo. It would be clear to anyone who witnessed their tentative interactions that Cleo and Hudson are in love. It is the Cutest Thing Ever, along with a dozen other things our cats do.
On an entirely separate note, I had a fantastic time playing Dead Space. I'm generally not comfortable saying any given thing or kind of thing is my "favorite" of those things, but tonight I feel like I can go out on a limb and say that horror games fit the bill. The upcoming week of Dudemas presents the annually unique opportunity to turn my condo into a black box and totally submerge myself into a 65" video world of terror, surround-sound and all. I spent my first Dudemas doing just that with Fatal Frame 2 -- almost certainly the scariest game ever made -- on the original Xbox. I'm not sure there's anything quite on par with those two titles that I can play next week. I've heard decent-if-not-glowing reviews of the most recent Silent Hill offering, so I'm considering giving that a try.
I've tried to get friends on board the scary-train but have had not really had much luck. I have a theory that my more creative and imaginitave friends are averse to horror because it affects them deeply in what they feel is an unpleasant, squishy manner. My less imaginitave friends just don't get scared, so the whole point is lost on them. For me there's just nothing more visceral than getting the crap scared out of me. It's the definition of a thrill -- the mind balancing the terror of an immediately present, unthinkably horrible outcome against the absolute secure knowledge that you are just playing a game or watching a movie and nothing can hurt you at all. While I have a tremendous appetite for that feeling, I can grudgingly accept that it's not for everyone. I happen to hate cilantro, for instance, but if someone I know is a fan of its dishwashing-soap bouquet I'm not going to hold it against them.
The Story of Dudemas
Amazed coworkers brought gifts of video games and hot pizza to little Dude and his mother. Then they were all called into a staff meeting where they were told they were being dismissed without pay for the holidays and would have to leave the building immediately. Baby Dude was left alone for a week to feast on delivered food and video entertainment.
When the contractors returned, they discovered the office Dude had been left in had been blocked off by a boulder. The boulder was moved to reveal another miracle. Baby Dude had been promoted to a GS-13 and was now their supervisor. He was also a little bored.
I hope you'll take a moment during Dudemas 2008 (Dec. 22 - 29) to remember the miracle and why we celebrate it today. While you do that, come over and help me pay for all this pizza.
Capital Wasteland : Saved
For anyone not familiar with this sort of game, you might ask why I'd want to keep playing after the "end". To put it simply, the thing is huge. I had reached level 20 (the max) with my character after only experiencing maybe one-third of the content in the game. The wasteland is so massive and so packed with things to discover that it really begs to be played through multiple times. I'm not just talking about the odd unexplored tunnel or wrecked building here and there. There are still a ton of achievements I have yet to unlock that are each tied to a quest, and each quest generally involves multiple locations in the world.
Completionism aside, there's the added bonus that the way you build your character and the way you deal with the people and situations you encounter is also up to you. A great part of Bethesda Sofworks' outstanding pedigree of titles are those that give you a world and allow you to decide what kind of character you want to play in earnest, beyond just the decision between good and evil. I played through this time as kind of an egghead with guns -- I concentrated mainly on technical scientific abilities and talked my way out of trouble whenever possible. I'm looking forward to starting again and playing a sneaky, close-combat oriented ass-kicker.
Eric Joyner Rocks
Robots and Donuts. What's not to love?
If you've never heard of Eric Joyner, you owe it to yourself to swing by his site and check out his work. I just got his book and totally dig it... looking to pick up some Christmas cards as well (Santa climbing a mountain of donuts with help from a robot? Count me in.).
Can't Get Enough of the Halo 3 Soundtrack?
Really? You can't? 'Cause I got pretty sick of it, myself... kind of wanted to smash my TV in after the second week of listening to that damn menu page...
But if you're one of those guys (or girls) who got completely consumed by Master Chief's return last year and said goodbye to the sun for a month, the news is good: you can buy the soundtrack on iTunes.
Seriously. For twenty bucks.
Tempted? Think it's worth it? Knock yourself out. I won't judge.
Distraction
I planted three apple trees and didn't have to kill a thing. It was wonderful.
A No-Pants Christmas
No, I don't think you're getting it. I have to. I'm hoping that I can coax a few friends into coming over and sharing the misery with me that week.
This week I've been making good progress in Fallout 3. It sounds a bit strange to call the landscape they've created "beautiful", what with the setting being the DC/Northern Virginia area some two hundred years after a nuclear holocaust, but that's how I see it. I've spent a great deal of time just wandering the Capital Wasteland and allowing myself to be very easily distracted from the plot of the game. Not that the plot isn't interesting -- it really is -- but there is so much to be discovered in the world the developers at Bethesda have created. It would feel rude of me to let it slip by.
I got started writing late tonight because it's a rehearsal night. I'll talk more about Fallout, Dudemas, and an interesting conversation I had about games where you don't shoot anything, tomorrow.
An Even Greater Endorsement for Zombies
Incidentally, it was also the first time I actually survived the "Blood Harvest" campaign, so it was extra-special to have a spectator there. I had died many times during the finale over the past few weeks, a few times within a yard or less of the rescue vehicle. In practically any other game I would probably have gotten pretty frustrated to get so close to victory only to have it cruelly snatched away, but when it happens in L4D it's awesome just about every time. Seeing the story end terribly and tragically is in keeping with the genre of film they've so skillfully brought to life on the console. So while I'm screaming in anguish as a monstrous infected hulk squashes me into paste beneath the skid of the evac helicopter, at the same time I'm cheering. It's a mean and perfect conclusion.
Killer Spots: Gears of War
I've noticed over the past couple of years that the bar has been raised considerably in terms of video game marketing. Bigger titles are being teased like blockbuster movies and rolled out with some pretty impressive creative leading the way (see last year's mega-launch of Halo 3, which surpassed even Spiderman 3 at the cash register).
There are loads of great campaigns out there for games and gaming systems, and I've decided to highlight a bunch of my favorites. Because I'm a huge dork.
If I were doing a top ten list, I'd screw it up, because I'm leading off with my number one pick. It's the spot that really set the new gold standard in my book; the original launch spot for 2006's Gears of War.
Built from the ground up with the Unreal 3 Game Engine by director Joseph Kosinski and the fine folks at Digital Domain, this promo broke new emotional ground with the beautifully mis-matched use of Gary Jules' "Mad World" cover (available on the Donnie Darko soundtrack). Not only were the visuals amazing, but this creative seemed to open everyone's eyes to the possibility that a game about blowing shit up might actually have some depth to it. It was a ballsy choice, and it totally worked... the knock-offs are still coming.
For this year's Gears of War 2 campaign, Kosinski and Digital Domain followed the same formula and went for the heart strings, but didn't quite pack the same punch as their first effort.
While both "Rendezvous" (featuring Alan Seeger's WWI poem "I Have a Rendezvous with Death") and "Last Day" (using DeVotchKa's "How It Ends") are killer spots on their own, the original is still the one that set the bar (although "Last Day" looks better and better once you're familiar with GOW2's story).
Good spots, good games... good times.
Giant Bow Unnecessary.
As mentioned in an earlier post, I recently received my XBOX 360 as a gift from a few friends. It immediately ranks itself up there with the coolest gifts I've ever received. It's up there with the Gameboy I received for my 11th birthday. Both were overwhelmingly generous, and both were completely unexpected. The Gameboy especially so, because we just didn't get stuff like that in my family. That was a big ticket item.
What's my point? I'm proud to say that these gifts are among the top of my favorites. Gifts that encourage communing with friends and having a good time should be. So if anyone wants to buy me a Lexus, just know it's not going to replace any of these memories.
I <3 Fast Zombies
As exciting as the zombie-shooting is, the game is unmistakably designed to be taken on with friends working together as the four survivors. I find myself having a fine time on my own but what really gets me psyched is imagining how the scenarios I've found myself in will play out with live companions. Tyler picked the game up today so I anticipate getting to try it out online with him within the week. I expect we'll both have stories to tell afterward.
It's funny that I'm having more fun with how I believe the game will change when played with others than I am with the game itself. And really, who doesn't occasionally fantasize about living in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested world? You're smart, you could survive, and you wouldn't have to deal with your stupid job or jerks on the Metro anymore.
Yeah, I'm pretty tired of my job.
Elite Geekdom
So when Igor is here the whole visit manifests as a sort of festival we call Geekend. I took off the whole week of Thanksgiving and basically spent ten days drinking beer and playing games. It might come as a surprise to some that Marjorie not only tolerates Geekend, she encourages it. I think it's because it keeps me out of her hair while providing a steady stream of carry-out restaurant food. Everybody wins.
I played through the single-player campaign of Call of Duty: World at War, continued my progress through Fallout 3, and abused myself again and again through the fast-zombie slaughterfest that is Left 4 Dead. This is just on the heels of finishing Gears of War 2 online with Tyler and barely scratching the surface of Fable II. This has been one hell of a season for games, perhaps the densest I've experienced.
I started writing tonight with the intention of reviewing one of those games but it's later than I expected. I am apparently prone to digression in writing as in speech. I'll get to some game talk tomorrow.
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