The Story of Dudemas

A few thousand years ago, on a cold, winter night, a young virgin contractor gave birth to a baby in a federal office building. A security guard witnessed the miracle and uttered, to no one in particular, "Dude." Thus the baby was named.

Amazed coworkers brought gifts of video games and hot pizza to little Dude and his mother. Then they were all called into a staff meeting where they were told they were being dismissed without pay for the holidays and would have to leave the building immediately. Baby Dude was left alone for a week to feast on delivered food and video entertainment.

When the contractors returned, they discovered the office Dude had been left in had been blocked off by a boulder. The boulder was moved to reveal another miracle. Baby Dude had been promoted to a GS-13 and was now their supervisor. He was also a little bored.

I hope you'll take a moment during Dudemas 2008 (Dec. 22 - 29) to remember the miracle and why we celebrate it today. While you do that, come over and help me pay for all this pizza.